Christians are straight up FREAKS
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
