found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
