got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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