I seem to have left my pride at pride
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
