I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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