Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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