bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
