True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
