Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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