Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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