All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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