wrigley field is MILF paradise
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
