Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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