She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
