no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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