I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A bitchslap is in order.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
