this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
