Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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