ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
