i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
not ubering you a puppy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
