I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
