Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
