She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
