...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
