"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
