well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
