The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
