y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
