i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize