so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize