I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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