You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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