don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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