I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
