there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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