she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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