i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
