he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
