You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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