Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
