Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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