I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
