...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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