Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
