you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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