Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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