Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
