This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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