True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
