just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
