The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
