I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
