I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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