I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
