can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
