and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
