whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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