The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize