Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
