i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
