No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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