I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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