Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
