Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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